Do you get defensive when receiving feedback? Or feel frustrated when things don’t go your way?
When emotions take over, we often react instead of responding. Mastering emotional triggers means learning to pause, reframe, and redirect our responses.
Here are 3 simple Emotional Intelligence (EI) techniques to manage emotional triggers effectively
Pause Before Reacting: Give yourself 5 seconds to reset.
How to do it: When you feel triggered, STOP and take a deep breath in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, and exhale for 4.
Mentally say: "Pause. Let me think about this before responding."
If possible, take a short walk, drink water, or even step away before reacting.
Why this works: Your brain needs time to shift from reaction mode (amygdala) to response mode (prefrontal cortex). Slowing down prevents impulsive, emotional reactions.
Example:
Before EI: You get negative feedback and instantly snap back: "That’s not fair!"
After EI: You pause, breathe, and respond calmly: "I hear you. Can you help me understand what I could improve?"
Reframe the Situation – Shift your perspective to find a better response.
How to do it: Instead of seeing the trigger as an attack, ask yourself:
“Is there another way to view this?”
"What if this person isn’t against me, but just stressed themselves?”
“How would a calm and collected person handle this?”
Try neutralizing the trigger by turning it into a question:
Instead of “They’re being rude,” think “Maybe they’re having a bad day.”
Why this works: Your brain defaults to negative thinking when triggered. Reframing shifts your mindset, helping you focus on solutions instead of emotional reactions.
Example:
Before EI: You receive vague criticism in a meeting and think: “They don’t appreciate my work.”
After EI: You reframe: “This is an opportunity to ask for clarity and improve.”
3. Redirect Your Response: Choose a productive action instead of reacting emotionally.
a. How to do it: Instead of reacting immediately, channel your energy into a controlled response:
If someone interrupts you → Calmly say: "Let me finish my point, and then I’d love your thoughts."
If a colleague criticizes you → Reply: "I’d love to hear more about your perspective. How can I improve?"
If a project goes wrong → Think: "What’s the next best step I can take?"
Why this works: Redirecting your response turns emotional energy into problem-solving. Instead of fuelling the fire, you use emotional intelligence to navigate the situation wisely.
Example:
Before EI: A teammate ignores your ideas, and you say: “Fine! Do it your way.”
After EI: You redirect: “I’d love to collaborate. How do you see this working best?”
Want to go deeper into emotional intelligence techniques like these? My Master Your Emotions program helps you build resilience, control emotional reactions, and stay composed under pressure.
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